dark

I don’t know how to write this… … is it cheesy to say my loss of him is like the elevator music of my life?
– it’s always playing. sometimes it’s not really heard as other things take over. Sometimes it’s loud, and annoying. irritates me out of my skin. But, like in the elevator, I [...]

Read Full Post »

Internet woes

Guess how long it took for this “Write new post” page to load?
Thirty minutes. I kid you not. Three-zero. 3-0. THIRTY. THIRTY!!!
We’re using slow-poke dial-up now. I know, sounds like a very quaint idea, but it’s not very authentic. Our wireless has not been able to kick in, and when it does, it will crash [...]

Read Full Post »

91 lines

My life is made up of my lists.
I think in bullet-form.
with lots of pauses, enter/returns and backtrack/deletes.
I wish I can do this:
My son Ferdinand died.
My [...]

Read Full Post »

all those months II

Thank you for your kind comments to the previous post.
Yes, it does make it all so fresh again. Like lightning striking a second time. Darkness descending all over again and the door slamming shut and not finding the exit.
Yes, time played a nasty joke. So true.
And this morning, I thought, did they perhaps think, I [...]

Read Full Post »

all those months… …

All those months, they thought I had been immersed in the bliss of goo-goo baby world.
It made me keel over to think that.
I have these two friends, a most wonderful couple, back in Hong Kong. I adore them, these wonderful people. We don’t communicate often because they are not the “email-ing” type and prefer to [...]

Read Full Post »

hmph

Actually, it was more like a “wow” to me when i read this quote that fell into my Inbox today:
When we fall on the ground it hurts us, but we also need to rely on the ground to get back up.
-Kathleen McDonald, How to Meditate
I think I’m going to try to get that book [...]

Read Full Post »