I have of course, often wonder, for how long will the girls talk about their baby brother?
It is not a taboo topic, but it is also definitely not a favorite topic.
Not too long ago we were in the baby aisle, looking for wash-cloths. They saw some baby booties and went “awwww……” over the small-ness of it. So cute, so tiny, so bursting with potential. Then Val said, “Mom, let’s go away now. Seeing these reminds me of Ferdinand and it makes me feel sad.”
Will they fear during their own pregnancies?
I know I did, all those scary things, even if they were just stories I read in books and on websites.
How will they remember him? How will the forgetting look like? And then the remembering again?
Well, I am relieved, and touched to be able to read of a perspective from an adult sibling who lost a baby brother when she was at the tender age of two. I am so grateful she shared. Her post is the newest one on Glow in the Woods. If you are interested, it is here. (I wish I could figure out how to get the Glow in the Woods widget to come on my blog. For some reason, it has NOT been working, really frustrating!)
Of course, little yellow flowers will no longer just be little yellow flowers to me.
Is anything ever just what it used to be before we lost our children? I wish I could say yes that something was the same but it seems nothing is.
I’m sure the girls will always remember and yes, maybe have fear during their own pregnancies but doesn’t that make them stronger, more vigilant, more aware and compassionate?! That’s what I believe, the more we all know the more we can be proactive in our care. I think the girls will do fine. They need time, you may be amazed at what they do to remember Ferdinand.
So many different perspectives. I’m sure that my son will never think of the twins as his siblings. And in some ways, that makes me feel better, as though the grief is mine alone.
I was glad to read the post, too. I am pretty sure Monkey will never forget. But I do wonder how her feelings will evolve through the years.
Awww. Val’s comment breaks my heart.
I hope my kids will always remember their brother and having read that particular post at GITW I have some hope that maybe they will.