One thing that really got to me the first months after Ferdinand died was that I continue to be a consumer. — Even if I don’t feel like eating because I was consumed by grief.
I still need to go out and buy toilet paper and dish detergent and bread and other edible stuff. And also, the girls did not stop growing and with the changing of the seasons, need clothes and more clothes and shoes too. And so I would drag all of us out to the stores and buy… stuff.
I am starting to hate this never-ending cycle of buying. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, but it really is starting to irk me. Of course, I see that it is because they are growing and that -ing part is always lovely when it comes to children. But for myself it has started to become a chore.
Which brings me to my brilliant business idea. Listen, don’t you have a favorite shirt/pants/skirt/jeans/sweater/shoes that you just love to death and will not part with? Because it looks great on you. So, why don’t these stores make the same thing every single freaking season? Last summer I found these simple V-neck T-shirts that were just superb and even made nursing easy. But this summer they decided to come out with different types of V-necks and the fit has changed too. Last year size M was fine. This year it is a tad tight and the L makes me look like I am trying to hide a pooch (which I am, but I don’t want you to know that).
Why? Why do they do things like that? If it ain’t broken, why change it? If people are buying, why make it different?
I understand the trends thing, so my business idea is to have you send me your favorite whatever-that-is and I will reproduce it in the exact same fit, stretch, length, width and whatsoevers by the dozens, and you can wear it till you die. Like I said, I understand the trends issue, so if tie-dye is the rage, I will tie-dye your skirt to shreds for you. If ruffles are hot (and boy, are they hot! I love ruffles!) then I will ruffle your tops all over and under. Do you see? Why can’t they just keep the shape and form and just add on the details but instead attempt to re-invent the wheel every season? Shopping around is tiring, I am starting to feel I will expend half of my life seeking out the pair of jeans that fit, the T-shirt that looks good, and the shoes that will not bite. Can’t I just do it once and be done with? So I can use all those time when I am gagging in fitting rooms to truly live, and do so many other more meaningful and perhaps useful things? Or just sleep, or read blogs, or devour pralines??
While I was deep in my fantasy of my business idea, smug that I was so brilliant and all, it dawned on me that of course we change. Our bodies change. True, your aunt Getrude had worn a size 2 for all seven decades but those are the rare specimens. Our bodies will change- in form, shape and size. And the physical attributes too- wrinkles, sagging, liver spots, all those fun things that comes with the honor of aging. And what’s more, emotionally we are enriched, which affects how we carry our bodies.
Change is not an option. It is a must. I cannot be the same, even if sometimes that idea is very attractive.
So, I am strapping on my rocking sandals to find new T-shirts to replace those old fav’s that are starting to sag.
July is coming upon us, more rapidly than I thought it ever will. I think I will contact that hospital coordinator and ask if she will take more cranes if I string some more. (I wonder what happened to those put up last year.) And I am thinking to take a trip up to Mount Lemmon to find the star that was named after Ferdinand. In fact I am thinking every July we should do something star-related, and every summer we should sleep in something different (this June it was a yurt, next times it could be a prison cell, underwater, in a lighthouse, etc). I feel I must be getting old because I want to start traditions. Something that repeats every year as (inevitable) changes occur all around.
I would love to hear your take on all these- change, traditions, anniversaries, ways to remember… …